Jesus said it well:
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. (Matthew 16:25).
My way of thinking about emergency preparedness suggests looking at the cost, and looking at the benefit. The cost is probably fixed whether or not the disaster happens; think about how likely it is that the benefits will happen. If the benefit only shows up on a long shot, it's not worth spending as much time, money, or effort on it as on something with a benefit that's more likely to be realized. As in several examples above, their might be several different potential benefits, with different odds. Calculate it out and see what makes sense.
Spending a lot of time, money, and attention on preparednness is like spending a lot of time, money, and attention on life insurance. Beyond a certain basic level, it detracts from the rest of life. If you feel inclined to spend your weekends building shelters, learning military skills, etc.; or spend a lot of money on things you'll never use unless a nuke lands nearby, I suggest taking some time to weigh out your priorities. You could lose the meaningful part of your life through seeking so desperately to save it (and to save it from disasters that may well never happen).
General lists of things to have are widely available; read them but don't rely on them without taking time to customize them for you and your situation. If you have any medical training at all, the usual "first aid kit" will seem pathetic and almost useless. If you know how to navigate, having the usual compass but not the local area topo maps seems pretty silly. If you are handy, the usual "wrench and screwdriver" recommendation for tools seems kind of lame. Think, and make your own choices and lists.
One method that can be useful is to carry a small notebook for a couple days and list out everything you use. Then go over the list and see what you want to add or cross off. An excellent method is to run a pretend emergency. Decide to turn off all the electricity in your house for a day or two. Discover what you miss most, what your emergency supplies lacked, etc. Or do the same with water or gas (this experiment may well remind you to pack something few emergency lists mention: deodorant).
I think it's also important to be well-informed about the resources you already have. The most obvious is that you probably have a whole hot water tank full of water even if the water supply fails. A less obvious example came to light our first year in a new house, when we lost power for several winter days. We had a sealed gas fireplace, but I knew it was wired to power and had an electrical switch to turn it on (not a valve). So I assumed it wouldn't work. I was cold for a couple days until I decided to fiddle with it, and discovered it worked just fine. It turned out the wiring was only to power a remote-control, and the electrical switch ran the starter on a tiny bit of power cleverly drawn from the pilot flame itself. Well, now I know.
The preparations that make sense to me are either
If something doesn't fit at least one of these descriptions, I'd think hard before investing in it.
Oh, there's an especially important case of #3: For some things the cost of not preparing could be very high. If you need a particular medication, be sure you refill it ahead of time. One way is to always have the current bottle and the "next" one. As soon as you start the "next" one, immediately get the one after that. This way you won't have a problem if for any reason you can't get a refill at just exactly the right time. It may also be wise to divide your supply between 2 places: don't keep the whole bottle with you, lest you lose it all with one spill, misplaced or stolen purse, etc.
During the New England blizzard of 1978, I remember a bunch of emergency workers and police debating the ethics of breaking into a pharmacy to get a drug that a certain person desperately needed. Fortunately another way was found (it was helicoptered in, I think) -- but you don't want to be in that position.
A constant problem with anything you stockpile for emergencies, is that it expires. Each item takes effort and discipline to rotate or renew.
Consider how good or bad you are at changing your furnace filters, the oil in your car, your smoke-detector batteries, and the like. If you're like me, you need to get a system down for things like that, or they'll likely go undone for a long time. If you can set tings up so you're automatically reminded, that's great.
For example, you can naturally rotate water stocks by drinking bottled water, and simply being sure to stock more than average. Since you're drinking it, you'll be replacing it.
For food, you can do simple things like write the date of purchase on anything that doesn't already have it, and try to use old stocks first. It helps to have a bigger pantry, or extra cupboards, so you can actually move things from "new" to "old" areas progressively. Maybe a pantry with a door to load it from the back would be cool -- like fire stations that have a door at the back so the trucks don't have to back in. But that doesn't seem worth the work unless you get some additional benefit such as fun from doing carpentry.
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